r 



FHE PRICE OF FAME 

A COMEDY DUOLOGUE 

IN ONE ACT 



By 
WALTER R. MATTHEWS 



Copyright, 1913, by Samuel French, Limited 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 WEST 38TH STREET 



London 
SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd 

26 Southampton Street 
STRAND 






x" 



©CI.D 33762 



THE PRICE OF FAME 

DRAMATIS PERSON.E 

George Vicars. 

Nora Vicars. 



The fee for each and every representation of this 
play by Amateurs is fifteen shillings, payable in 
advance to the sole proprietors : — 

MESSRS. SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD., 

26, Southampton Street, 

Strand, London, 

or their authorized representatives, who will issue 
a written permission for the performance to take 
place. No representation may be given unless this 
written authority has first been obtained. 

Any costumes, wigs, or properties used in the per- 
formance of plays contained in French's Acting 
Edition may be hired or purchased reasonably from 
Messrs C. H. Fox, LtD., 27, Wellington Street, 
Strand, London. 



THE PRICE OF FAME 

Scene. — •Dining-room at "The Nest," the' home of 
Mr, and Mrs. George Vicars. A bright, pleasant 
room, furnished with excellent taste. c.,an oval, gate- 
leg table, with breakfast appointments for two. 

Time, about 8.15 a.m. 

(Enter George Vicars, briskly, r. He goes to the 
table, picks up a letter and tears it open.) 

George (having skimmed through the contents.) 
By Jove! {Calling.) Nora! (No answer.) (He goes 
to the door ) Nora ! News ! 

A Voice. Well ? 

(George returns c.) 

George. I thought it would fetch 'em ! (He 
smacks his leg.) A thousand pounds ! Hooray ! 
(He goes to the door.) If you're not quick, Nora, I 
shall . . , ! 

[Enter Nora, calmly, carrying a mart's jacket. George 
drags her into the room, holding the letter behind his 
back.) 

George. Who said her Georgie was an old goose ? 

Nora (candidly) . His darling Nora did ! There 1 
($he puts down the jacket on a chair.) 

George. Wait till you know ! Whatever have 
you been doing ? 



6 THE PRICE OF FAME. 

Nora {looking at the breakfast-table, critically). 
Putting your clothes away, you untidy boy. And 
looking what needed mending. The buttons you 
lose, George . . . ! 

George. Untidiness, and a disregard for appear- 
ances, my dear girl, are a mark of genius — splendid, 
erratic genius ! 

Nora {busy with the cups and saucers). Oh ! 
Since when ? 

George. Since . . . three weeks ago, to-day. 
{Coming towards her.) What do you think the post- 
man brought this morning ? You can't guess ! 

Nora. Yes, I can. Bills ! 

George. Wrong ! Just look here. (Nora turns. 
He gives her the letter.) Read this to me. I want to 
hear it again ! 

(George looks over her shoulder, while she reads.) 

Nora {reading). 
" Dear Sir,— 

"We have the pleasure to inform you that our 
adjudicators have awarded you the first prize of One 
Thousand Pounds in our great ' Rubicon ' Contest, 
Number 43, for your ' Rubicon ' — • 

Immense, " Successful Matrimony." 
"We enclose cheque, which please acknowledge in 
course, and much obhge, 

'' Yours faithfully, 

" Scissors & Paste, 

"The Editor." 
George ! 

George {waving the cheque before her eyes). And 
there you are ! 

(Nora drops the letter and kissed him rapturously.) 

Nora. You are a clever boy ! However did you 
do it ? 

George. Aha ! 



THE PRICE OF FAME., 7 

Nora. Oh, do tell me, George ! 
George. Well, withdraw the " Goose," and 
then . . . 

Nora. You're a — a swan ! There ! But what 
is a " Rubicon " ? 

George {getting on a footstool and assitming a 
professor-like air). The Rubicon, my dear child, is 
a stream in Central Italy, which was crossed by C;uus 
Julius Caesar about . . . 

Nora {stopping his mouth with her hand). Now, 
George, no lectures ! 

George {stepping down) . Very well. Three weeks 
ago, to-day, you may remember, I went to the City, 
as is my custom, by the 8.42. HEaving expended 
one of my hard-earned coppers on a copy of Scissors 
& Paste, I proceeded to devour the contents of that 
brainy periodical. 

Nora. Oh, do get along ! 

George. You are evidently unaware that it runs 
a competition each week, first prize a thousand 
pounds, for what it calls " Rubicons." 
Nora. Getting warm ! 

George. Your hitherto-despised, and now rightly- 
esteemed husband made up his " Rubicon," bought 
his postal order, cast his bread on the waters, and 
{waving the cheque) behold ! 
Nora. But what is a " Rubicon " ? 
George. Caius Julius Caesar, about the year ... 
(Nora makes a warning gesture.) Well, it's like 
this : — You think of a word, and then you take two 
of its letters and make them begin two words with 
some bearing on the original. Thus "Immense" 
gives us "Successful Matrimony" . . . 

Nora. And a thousand pounds ! You're a 
darling ! And how sweet of you. " Successful 
Matrimony " ! George, you can leave your things 
about as much as you like ! 

George. Genius coming into its own ! 

Nora. Do let me look at it ! {He gives her 



e THE PRICE OF FAME. 

the cheque.) How lovely ! (She kisses it.) Why 
didn't you tell me you were going in for it ? 

George. Well, to tell the truth, I suppose I was 
half-ashamed of it. . . . 

Nora. Oh, you silly, timid old dear ! Wouldn't 
tell his little wifie ! 

George. Yes, it was silly. {He comes up to her.) 
Well, and what would she like ? 

Nora. She doesn't want anything. (She reflects a 
little.) But she saw the sweetest little hat at Jacque- 
line's yesterday. (Reminiscently .) It was a dark 
biscuit tagal straw, with a nattier blue plume 
brought over. . . . Oh, such a darling ! (She clasps 
her hands in ecstacy.) 

George. Its hours at Madame Jacqueline's are 
numbered ! 

Nora. You angel ! (She kisses him.) And — 
did I tell you ? — Edith Chesterfield has one of the 
duckiest pendants you ever saw . . . oval, with pearls 
and turquoises in three rows. Dick gave it her at 
Christmas. . . . (Suddenly.) Oh, what a selfish little 
thing I am, spending his hard-earned money for 
him ! The sweat of his brow ! Poor old boy ! 
Was it very hard ? 

George. No ! (Impressively.) Nora, I was as 
one inspired ! By Jove ! It's the best five minutes' 
work I ever did ! 

(Clock strikes the half-hour.) 

Good heavens ! Half-past ! I'd forgotten all about 
breakfast. No 8.42 to-day. Give me some coffee, 
quick ! (He begins to eat, standing at the table.) I 
specially wanted (bite) to be early, this morning. 
Nora (pouring out his coffee). Never mind, dear. 
You don't get such a nice letter every morning. 
You've heaps of time for the 9.15. (She puts sugar 
in his cup.) One, two . . . and three, because he's 
such a clever boy \ 



THE PRICE OF FAME. 9 

George (taking the cup and sitting down). If you 
knew how much I had to do this morning . . . 

Nora [pointing her finger at him, roguishly). More 
" Rubicons " ? 

George {drinks, then). Not Hkely they'll let me 
win twice ! 

Nora. No ? Why not ? (George is too busy to 
reply.) (She sets down her cup, meditatively.) George 
. . . will they put your name in the paper ? 

George (indistinctly). Umm ! . . . Yes, I sup- 
pose they will. I hadn't thought of that. (Dubi- 
ously.) I shall get awfully chaffed. . . . (With a 
laugh.) Never mind, it's worth it. (He resumes 
his breakfast.) 

Nora. But suppose, . . . (To herself.) I don't 
believe I read all that letter, . . . (5^^ rises, and 
picks up the letter from the floor. She reads it again. 
George is munching steadily, and admiring the cheque, 
laid out on the table before him.) Oh ! I thought as 
much ! George ! (No response.) George ! 

George. Well, dear ? I can't hear when I'm 
crunching toast ! 

Nora. George, he's coming here ! (She goes tip 
to him.) See. . . (Reading.) " Our representative 
will call on you to-morrow (Tuesday) morning." 

(Nora comes back to her chair.) 

George. What for, I should like to know ! 
Here's the cheque ! I don't want to see the beggar ! 

Nora (thoughtfully). George, have you got a 
Scissors & Paste here ? 

George (helping himself to further supplies). Yes, 
in my overcoat pocket. 

(Nora exit. George goes on eating. Nora re- 
enters, bringing a folded paper. She crosses and 
sits in a chair near the fireplace.) 

Nora (unfolding the -paper). I thought it had a 
yellow cover. . . 



10 THE PRICE OF FAME. 

George. It has. But I tear it off. It's too 
blinding. 

(Nora turns over the pages. Suddenly rising in 
horror.) 

Nora. Oh! 

George {wiping his mouth). Well ? 

Nora. I see why he's coming ! How awful ! 

George. Who's timid now ? 

Nora. George . . . you're going to be . . . in- 
terviewed ! 

George {getting up). No! I say! . . . 

Nora {going up to him). Yes, you are ! Here's 
the man who won in Number Forty- two. {Reading.) 
" Lucky Mr. Rowbottom. . . . How a Durham 
Miner won a Thousand Pounds. ..." And a 
photograph ! 

George. Good heavens ! 

Nora. There's a whole column about him. All 
about his house, and his work, and how he began, and 
what his " mates " used to say, and how old he is, 
and what his wife is like. . . . {Reading.) " It will 
mean a new rig-out for me, said Mrs. Rowbottom to 
our representative. ..." {She casts the paper from 
her.) Oh, George . . . how horrible! And the . . . 
the posters ! What -will people say ? {She sits 
down in the chair George has just left, in an ecstacy of 
mortification.) 

George {hopelessly). We can't help it now. 

Nora. We shall have to remove — give up this 
dear little home, and . . . and . . v go away. {She 
becomes tearful.) 

George {coming up behind her). Darling . . ► 
don't ! {He pats her shoulder.) Perhaps it won't 
be so bad as all that. . . . {With assumed gaiety.) At 
any rate, I'm not a miner ! 

Nora {i^idignantly). How can you joke about it^ 
George ! {She rises.) Have you forgotten what the 



THE PBICE OF FAME. 11 

vicar said, on Sunday, about gambling, " sapping the 
nation's strength," or " moral fibre,"— I forget which ? 
He mentioned newspaper competitions, too. Mrs. 
Rantipole will never call here again. {Despairingly.) 
Oh ! {She leans her head on her husband's chest.) 

George. The deuce ! {He remembers the cheque, 
puts her gently away from him and brings it from the 
table.) But ... darling ! {Holding the cheque above 
his head.) Look ! Madame Jacqueline ! (Norah 
looks up, with a brave smile.) Turquoises . . . 

Nora. . . . and pearls ! Oh, George, I wish . . . 

George {putting the cheque away safely). We must 
make the best of it, Nora ! 

Nora. Yes. But how ? Let me think ! {She 
goes to the window, stands there a moment, looking out, 
then turns.) I know ! 

George {anxiously). I wish I did ! Well ? 

Nora {coming towards him). We must get your 
life-story ready before he comes ! You know you'd 
make a fearful mess of things, if you weren't prepared. 

George. You mean . . . make it what it ought to 
be, to sound well ! Umm ! . . . It's rather 

Nora {decisively). George, it's our only chance 1 
We'd better be quick. He might come any minute I 

George. Not at breakfast-time, surely ! 

Nora. Lve heard some of these newspaper men 
stay up and work all night. He may come here on 
his way home to bed, tired and crabby. Oh, do think 
of something ! 

{Pause. George is by the fireplace. Nora stands in 
front of the table.) 

George {venturously). Ask him if he'll have any 
. . . supper ! 

Nora {with a withering glance). George ! 

George. Sorry. Well I can wash my face and 
brush my hair, so as to give him a good impression. 
How can we tell what he's likely to ask ? 

Nora {triumphantly). V\\ tell you what ! Sxrp- 



12 THE PRICE OF FAME. 

pose I pretend to be the man, and I'll ask 3'ou ques- 
tions ! You'll feel ever so much more comfortable, 
at the time. 

G'EORGE {coming forward a little). All right. We'll 
see how it works. 

Nora. We'll begin at once. {She crosses to the 
door.) {She turns, assuming the role at once, and ad- 
vances with outstretched hand.) Ah ! Good morning. 
Mr. Vicars ! Allow me to congratulate you on your 
splendid success ! The Editor's compliments, and 
he hopes you will be good enough to give me a few 
detailsabout yourself for our next issue. . . . How's 
that ? 

George. Oh, all right. I should think. Fire 
away ! 

Nora. Let me see . . . what was the first thing 
about the miner ? 

(George hands her the paper.) 

Oh! . . . {Reading.) "I found Mr. Rowbottom in 
his snug little cottage, plain and humble as betitted 
his lot, but Mrs. Rowbottom's busy hands had made 
it fit for a prince. ' Plenty of what I call elbow- 
grease,' said she, when I complimented her. . . ." 
Good gracious ! Mary must dust the drawing-room 
at once ! {Reading.) " Mrs. Rowbottom is a bright, 
motherly soul, whose eyes twinkled merrily when I 
told her of her husband's good fortune. ' Isaac has 
been trying your " Rubicons " for months,' she re- 
marked ..." 

George. My dear girl, he's coming to see me — not 
you and the house ! 

Nora. I know ! {Reading.) " Mr. Rowbottom 
told me his chief recreation was music. He is a noted 
performer on the melodion, and I noticed in a corner 
of the best parlour a fine new American organ. ' That,' 
said the favoured one, with pride, ' that was the first 
thing I bought when I heard of my success from 
Scissors & Paste. ' We shall often have a bit of music 



THE PRICE OF FAME. 13 

of an evening, now,' he added. . . ." George, 
what about your hobbies. . . . ? 

George {entering into the spirit of the thing). My 
hobbies . . . ? 

^ORA {adopting the interviewer' s manner). Er . . . 
Tell me something of your hobbies, Mr. Vicars. 

George. Well Mr. , I play a round or two of 

golf now and then. I cycle a good deal during the 
summer months. A little tennis— when I can spare 
the time. We played every afternoon, last week, 
Nora ! My wife and I are very fond of music, and 
Mrs. Vicars has a very pleasing soprano voice, trained 
by Madame de Bulki . . . 

^ORA {threateningly). Now, George, if you do . . .! 
{Again turning intervieiz'er,) Br . . . you are really 
too modest, Mr. Vicars, And now, your business . . . ? 

George. I am with the famous West African 
Firm, Messrs. Firewater & Co., with whom I have 
risen to a position of great responsibility, during the 
last fifteen years. Ahem ! Gently, Nora ! 

Nora {pretending to scribble as she composes). Mr. 
Vicars is held in the highest esteem by his employers, 
whose complete confidence he enjoys. There ! 
Haven't I got it nicely ? 

George {admiringly). Nora, you would have 
made a first-class lady journalist, if you hadn't 
married. 

Nora. Stuff ! And now, tell me, does Mrs. Vicars 
assist you with your solutions of Scissors & Paste 
competitions ? {She laughs.) 

George. Hang it, Nora ! What do you want me 
to say ? 

Nora. Nothing ! Mr. Vicars was silent. . . . 

George {continuing) . . . for a moment. I wished 
to surprise her, he resumed. Women love sur- 
prises . . . 

Nora {cuttingly). Shakespeare ! And to what 
do you intend to devote your splended winnings, Mr. 
Vicars ? (I think he should say that, about now.) 



14 THE PRICE OF FAME. 

George. There is the sweetest Httle hat at 
Madame JacqueUne's, and the duckiest httle pearl 
and turquoise. . . . 

Nora. George, do be sensible ! 

George. You're a nice interviewer ! Don't you 
want the truth, when you can get it ? 

Nora. Oh, yes, and have everybody calling after 
me, Scissors & Paste, when I go out in my new hat . . . 
and pendant ! 

George. Oh, so it's quite settled . . . ? 

Nora. Long ago ! {She closes her eyes and con- 
tinues.) A part of my prize, replied Mr. Vicars, I 
shall devote to a most deserving charitable object. . . . 

George. Don't call yourself names, my dear ! 

Nora {resumin'^) . . . M\^ wife and I, who are 
very fond of travel, propose to pay a long delayed 
visit to the Austrian Tyrol, this autumn. We shall 
probably visit Egypt during the comings winter, 
calling for the winter sports in the Engadine, on the 
return journey. . . . 

(George stands aghast.) 

That is an excellent idea, replied the Scissors & Paste 
man. There, George ! The Tyrol, Egypt, the En- 
gadine ! Doesn't it sound lovely ? 

George. Nora, aren't you going a little too far ? 

Nora. I'm trying to make as good a show as I 
can. you old goose. 

George. Swan, please ! 

Nora. And now, Mr. Vicars, may I ask what 
suggested your winning " Rubicon " ? I feel sure 
you will be willing to tell me, for the benefit of less 
clever Scissors S- Paste readers. 

George. Certainly, sir. You will understand I 
have always in mind how great a success my married 
life has been. It has, indeed, been what I call Im- 
mense. There you have the idea — Immense, Suc- 
cessful Matrimony." I felt quite sure I had hit on 
the right thing ! 



THE PRICE OF FAME. 15 

Nora. Boaster ! And so it has proved, Mr. Vicars ! 
And so saying, our representative took leave of the 
victorious one, sighing a regretful farewell to the 
" Nest," the pleasant name given to their residence 
by Mr. Vicars. . . . 

George {supplementing) . . . and his charming 
wife ! 

Nora. You darling ! {She kisses him.) 

George. He won't do that, I suppose ? 

Nora. Hardly, I think. George, have you 
noticed the time ? 

George. No i I say ! We must hurry up ! 
Why . . . look here, Nora, I shall miss him ! You'll 
have to tell him I'm abroad. Gone to West Africa 
for the day on business . . . anything ! {Rubbing 
his hands, gleefully.) How splendid to have dodged 
him ! 

Nora. Oh, yes ! And leave me to tackle him, and 
make him think you're the handsomest, cleverest, 
busiest. . . , George ! How can I . . . ? 
{Bell rings. Nora rushes to the window, pressing her 

nose flat against it, so as to be able to get a view of the 

porch. George follows.) 

Nora {hollowly, titrating to him). George, it's the 
man ! 

George {in a tragic voice). The hour has come ! 

Nora. You'll have to see him, now. Mary will 
show him into the drawing-room. . . . You'll be all 
right if you keep your head. 

George. Oh, I cant ! 

Nora {firmly). You must ! {She stands at the 
table, waiting for him to advance.) 

George {coming tip to her). Nora ! {taking her 
arm.) The sv/eetest, duckiest little . . . {with an 
inspiration) . . . and such a darling sapphire brace- 
let. . . ! 

Nora {dazzled). Oh ! {She takes both his hands in 
hers.) George, I'll . . . I'll do it! But you must get 
out of the way at once. You must fly ! {She drags 



MAY 3 1913 



16 THE PRICE OF FAME. 

him towards the door.) Quick, get your hat and gloves ! 
No ! Stop a minute. . . . I will ! 

{She tiptoes softly to the door, quietly opens it, vanishes 
for a moment, and returns with her husband's hat, 
gloves and stick.) 

Nora. There ! {She hands him his property.) 
Hush ! {With an air of triumph.) George ... he 
smokes ! I can smell him ! Give me your best 
cigars ! 

George. Nora, you're a dangerous woman . . . 
and you're a darling ! I know you'll manage him 
splendidly. {He crosses to the sideboard, finds the 
cigars, and brings the box to her.) Give him the lot ! 
{He goes towards the door.) 

Nora {with a little shriek). Not that way ! He'll 
hear you ! Through the French window ! 

{She hurries him along. They embrace.) 

George {patting her on the back). You're a brave 
little woman ! Now remember ! Sparkle & Twinks' 
at half-past four ... 

Nora . . . Tea somewhere, and Jacqueline's on 
the way home ! {With a little laugh.) As if I should 
forget ! You old dear ! {She kisses him, then spins 
him round, and pushes him towards the French win- 
dow.) Hush ! Good-bye. 

{Exit George. Nora kisses her hand to him, then 
closes the windows and crosses to the door, r. With 
her hand on the knob, she turns, gives a quiet little 
laugh, and crosses to the table, putting down the cigar- 
box. She flits towards the mirror over the fireplace, 
glances at herself, approvingly , and pats her hair 
a little. She then turns, crosses — taking up the 
cigars, as she passes — exclaims softly to herself^ 
"' Now for it ! " — and sallies forth to victory.) 

Curtain. 

Printed, by Butler & Tanner, Frame and London. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




lllllllllllllll 

014 432 554 



